How to host an accessible Thanksgiving for individuals on the spectrum
Individuals with autism/autistic guests can feel more comfortable in familiar places with familiar people and calming routines. Thanksgiving, especially one at an unfamiliar place can be overwhelming.
If you’re hosting someone on the spectrum it shouldn’t be a challenge but a little planning can help make that person feel welcome.
Start by asking the individual or their parent/caregiver if they have any specific needs you can be prepared for. Let’s not assume they need anything special but if they do you can be prepared.
If they’d benefit from some extra preparation here are some ways as a host we can show autism/autistic guests and their families some love this Thanksgiving.
Allow them to arrive early. It may help your guest to get comfortable with your space before other guests arrive.
Don’t expect them to be social. Let your family know if the child doesn’t like to hug or feel pressured to make eye contact that it’s ok, don’t be offended and don’t criticize it’s not personal.
If food is served buffet-style let them check it out beforehand so they can test food in a calmer environment. Maybe some tastes, textures or smells will be off-putting so have some safe foods available.
Plan your meal with them in mind. Ask what they like to eat and what they don’t. If it helps make the day more joyful for them, prepare some foods you know they like and they will eat.
Create a safe space like a room or area of your house that they can escape to if the noise and activity get to be too much for them.
Have noise-cancelling headphones or sensory items like fidget spinners handy to help them relax or encourage their caregiver to bring what they need. If they need to listen to music or get engrossed in the iPad for a while that’s ok.
Meltdowns may happen. So if they do, help your guests understand that an upset child isn’t a brat. They may be feeling overwhelmed with all the activity and new sensory information.
Younger children who may not understand why one of their peers is allowed to eat a different meal or watch the iPad. Explain to them that your guest has different needs and for them, this may be a more challenging day.
Your efforts to accommodate someone with unique needs really show you care and it can mean all the difference for an autistic individual/individual with autism and their experience.