Bullying is a real fact of life for many children, youth and adults on the autism spectrum or with intellectual difficulties. It’s terrible for them and for the people who support them and want to keep them safe and help them build confidence.

Now more than ever bullying is pervasive because it can extend beyond the schoolyard or workplace to social media where rumours and cruel content can spread throughout a community.

As parents and caregivers, protecting our children is at the forefront. We can’t be with them every minute of every day so how do we help them if they are being bullied?

Here is a 3 step process you can follow to prepare your child to address bullying: 

1. Identify the warning signs

As a parent, you want to be able to recognize if your child is being bullied. Ideally, you will want to proactively address bullying but this is not always possible.  Recognizing the signs that something is wrong will allow you to properly support your child.

Here are questions you can ask yourself to identify the warning signs your child is being bullied:

• Is your child scared to go to school?

• Do they appear anxious or scared?

• Are they less interested in activities?

• Do they make negative comments?

• Is their performance in school suffering?

• Are they having trouble sleeping?

• Do they appear lonely and isolated from peers?

• Have you noticed any injuries, bruising or damaged clothing?

2. Determine what type of bullying

Talk to your child; ask them questions. Don’t try to solve their problem but be compassionate and curious. Make sure they know it’s not their fault. You want to find out what type of bullying they are facing.

4 TYPES OF BULLYING

1. Verbal

2. Physical

3. Social 

4. Cyber

If they say someone is calling them names, for instance, explore that. Find out if it’s more than one person, whether it is just at school or if it happens anywhere else. Bullying can take multiple forms so you want to cover all the possibilities to best prepare your child to address them.

3. Teach the necessary skills

There are a myriad of skills that can help your child avoid or defend themselves from bullies. Once you know what your child is dealing with you can focus your efforts on the right skills to help them.

SKILLS TO ADDRESS BULLYING

• Emotional regulation

• Coping skills

• Problem-solving

• Ignoring peer provocation (peers who try and agitate them)

• Communicating assertively

• Identifying healthy relationships

Skills like emotional regulation and ignoring peer provocation can make all the difference in the world in helping your child stay calm and not give bullies ammunition to provoke them.

Helping them decipher good relationships from bad ones can help them avoid social bullying or things like backhanded bullying when someone is misleading them. If they’re spending their time with the right peers, bullying will be less of a factor.

How do you start this process:

Begin by helping them identify the different types of bullying.

• What do they look like?

• Where do they occur?

• Provide examples and non-examples

Then, identify the situations or settings where they may experience bullying.

• During recess

• In the school hallways

• At a park

• During sports games

• At a friend’s house

Remember, bullying is typically a form of repeated and aggressive behaviour; it’s not a one-off argument, accidentally getting bumped in the hall or a single joke about someone. It’s more persistent than that.

Once you’ve addressed this, it’s easier to focus on the skills that will best benefit your child and allow them to understand how to use the skills in the context where they are most beneficial. 

If you found this article helpful, we run a Stand Up to Bullying Workshop here at Lake Ridge Community Support Services that you may find valuable. Check our Foundational Family Portal for courses on how to help your child deal with bullying and more.